More on Easter, just quickly. If you check out this search page, you’ll see a lot more. Google Search: eostre christian . Even better, there’s the hilarious sponsored link ( in the top right, Easter: A Few Problems. That page has this great quote: “Jesus does not look like this effeminate hippie.”

In the course of its literalist biblical preachery, it points out a few problems with Easter. The most obvious is that Jesus was supposed to take three days and three nights to die and be resurrected, but there’s only two between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Is that what Easter Monday’s for?

Also, in the US, Easter Sunday is actually Resurrection Sunday. Freaky. Call it what you want, I’m just happy to have a four-day weekend. And don’t get me started on Christmas.

Wait… shit… it’s too late.

Lots of other stuff around the same time. Yule (Pagan) on the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, December 22nd. Gifts exchanged. Wreaths hung. Holly and ivy etc. Also, Victory of the Sun-God (Babylonian); Birthday of the Gods (various ancient pagan civilisations, apparently); Saturnalia (Romans), to celebrate Saturn (harvest god) and Mithras (light god) involving more gift-giving, especially toys to children. Caesar action figures and so on.

Interesting stuff just googled: “When it was first proposed in the fifth century to celebrate “the birth of the Son” on the date of “the birth of the Sun” the eastern churches rebelled. They were upset that a pagan holiday was being expropriated by the church, and resisted the change. The Russian Orthodox Church today still shuns December 25th and celebrates the birth of Christ on January 7th instead.” – from the Institute for Liberal Values. Also, that Christmas was illegal in England from 1647 to 1660 under Oliver Cromwell, and for the Calvinist Puritans in Massachusetts from 1659 to 1681. Also see American Christmas Origins.

And of course, let’s not forget Father Christmas, good old Santa Claus, Sinterklaas, Sinter Claes, St Nicholas, etc. Check out the Chronology of Santa Claus. From 1931, Santa’s been wearing Coca Cola’s red and white, and has become the “traditional” view of Santa Claus.

So please, don’t tell me that modern times have taken Christ out of Easter or Christmas. He doesn’t belong there, never did. He was inserted. It’s all about the chocolate, people, and don’t lie to your kids.