This is the steamiest pile of crap I’ve seen in a looong time: The Pepsi Gravitational Field, in which the expansion of the universe is compared to the multiplication of Pepsi logos. If you’ve ever choked back vomit at phrases like Establishment of a gravitational pull to shift from a “transactional” experience to an “invitational” expression then get your barf bags ready.

Remember, folks: you’re just selling sugary water.